dear lord, what a shitty morning. goddammit.

(south park mania has hit gg15, and I find myself saying "goddammit cartman!" all the fucking time. such a bad lip on those kids! they're such an evil influence!)

to make my shitty morning absolutely clear, you must first understand how much I am not a morning person. on saturdays and sundays and every now and then a monday thrown in for good measure, I sleep through the entire thing just so I don't have to deal with it. I seriously can't remember the last weekend that I was up before about 2pm. well, that's a lie. I remember with great clarity having the sweetness and kindness to drive my loving fiancee to driving school at 9 in the morning one saturday about three or four months ago.

but the point is: unless I've had at least... eleven or so hours of sleep, I will scrounge out every last minute of the morning possible with sleep. in general, I am up about 2 minutes before I have to walk out the door. I take showers and baths before going to sleep, and I make sure my books are by the door. I wake up after 19 times hitting the snooze, grab random articles of clothing, brush my teeth and pee all at the same time AND I'M GONE!

I read xeney talk about her four-hour mornings of random shit before going to work--loading and emptying dishwashers, reading books in the bath, writing journal entries--and I am in awe that someone could get out of bed for anything. ever.

I'm technically supposed to get to work at 9. I pushed for 10 when I was first hired, but was stared down on that. but it takes me 30 minutes to get here, so I usually figure that it's okay to leave at 9. I'm basically working by driving to work, right? but then it has become as long as I get up by 9, I'm okay. which means I set the alarm for 9 and don't actually get out of bed until 9.28. leave at 9.30. get to work at 10.

but I woke up easily at 8.30 this morning. before the alarm went off. it was an unbelivable and startling experience. got up, ready for a good responsible work day, checked my mail, got ready to go, walked out the door, ...

and realized that my car was still at school.

FUCK.

not only does that mean I have to wait for nicholas, my darling love, who happens to enjoy taking about 7 hours to get ready in the morning, but I have to pay $10 shitty stupid dollars to get my car out of the pay lot, when if I had remembered last night, I could've gotten it out for free. do you realize what a nice lunch $10 could've gotten me? :(

so poor nick gets to be subjected to my unbelievably cranky normal morning self amplified by insanity. I CANNOT HELP IT THAT THINGS MAKE ME CRAZY IN THE MORNINGS!

my mom almost stopped loving me my freshman year in high school when she had to drive me to school every morning. I was an insufferable wench. it makes me feel awful just thinking about poor momma having to get up to take my stupid self to school and not only getting no thanks or appreciation for it whatsoever, but getting harrassed like mad by this psychotic fifteen-year-old who you just want to be nice to you. my mom is so the greatest for not having disowned me that year.

so I sit around for not long at all, because nicholas is the sweetest thing ever and offered to give me a ride asap, and really didn't take longer than 10 minutes or so. but I am just stewing over the crappiness of the fact that I was so going to be at work early and now I'm not even going to get there by 10. I WASN'T SLACK THIS MORNING! BUT IT'S STILL GOING TO LOOK LIKE I WAS!

and I was going to go on more, but jesus, I'm even getting on my own nerves about what a whiny thing I am. to borrow a sundry-ism, you guys are probably all thinking, oh, what an awful morning! I'm so sorry! (...you psycho.)

)()()()(

speaking of sundry-isms, sundry mourning is so my new favorite journal. she is the cutest and funniest. and those lips are alluring as hell. they are addictive. it is a good thing for me that she has pages and pages of archives. it is a bad thing for nick's dislike of dogs and for our tiny apartment that she has the funniest and most adorable dog ever. I want a dog!

other pages that I've started reading a bunch as of late are not martha, because I've been feeling very crafty and into buying and making cute little things that I don't need, the leaky cauldron for minute-to-minute news on the fifth book, which I am ever-so-eagerly anticipating (OMG OMG OMG!?!??#!#!@**W!~!), and casey who is completely awesome and is in one of my classes this semester and is graduating with me (in two and a half weeks, dear lord.) and I'm incredibly pleased is not going to move to d.c. it is not often that you meet cool girls at tech, let me tell ya.