4 May
12.53am
thinking: this is why I am never ever going to smoke. Next time I'm thinkin' how cool someone looks with fire between the fingers, on the tips of their lips, I'm gonna read this again. Pamie's much more entertaining than whatever pictures of charred lungs one would think would detract me.
reading: 2130 slides! You know what was funny? Last night Ryan was emphasizing how much Bill likes Powerpoint by saying that "he's got like a PhD in Powerpoint," and I was like, "huh? Where on earth do you get one of those?" Heh. I think that he and Pallavi both thought I was kidding, because really, how could someone have not realized he was kidding?
(I'm gonna get a PhD in Things That Don't Exist, so I can be as cool as Jonathan's friend. And then I can always make that joke about then getting a job that doesn't exist, and money that doesn't exist!)
crying: 'cause I'm a sucker for nostalgia, and I used to not ever cry! so I don't know what's wrong with me lately. But I was hangin' out with people tonight that I love and might not really ever see again, and I swear, if that Survivor soundtrack had sounded any more like Sarah's "I Will Remember You," I'd've broken down in front of everyone, and Jake would've lambasted me even more for being such a fuckin' girl!

Really, I am about to get back to the 2130. When I have my C in it, I can go back and blame this silly entry on it, and say, if it wasn't for that! I would've gotten a decent grade in that class! I do believe that that is why I have such an aversion for studying, because what really sucks is when you try really hard, and still only do mediocrely. Now, when I fail the final I can attribute it to the fact that I didn't really try my hardest, and keep on living in my illusions that if I had wanted to put in the work, I surely could've gotten an A.

You know what I have a real weakness for?

Please be careful with me, I'm sensitive, and I'd like to stay that way

I feel sorry for Jewel: everyone thinks she's such a flake, but I don't really think she is. But maybe I'm a sucker because I think she's beautiful and her voice makes my heart hurt (and for some reason, I lovelovelove that in music).

You know what's fun? Talking to silly policemen that are trying to be mean, who you know from GALA meetings!

Everyone who is reading this: you know you want to be in Savannah this Wednesday afternoon. We're playing Ultimate in Forsyth! Be there, or be square, and all that jazz! Also, I'm going to romp around the park barefoot and talk to all the dogs, and get my feet wet in the fountain, and go to Endora's because I haven't gotten any new used clothes in ages, and I'm gonna have the best hot chocolate in the world: the kind that are consumed in the blistering Savannah night heat, out on the stairs in front of the Gallery, with lotsa chocolate syrup making my face sticky.

Sigh... if only the person that I wanted would be there to lick it off...