7 july 2004

Up so late, don't know why, playing with my hair, which dried nice and shiny and straight.

WHERE I COPY MIMI SMARTYPANTS: It is not enough to give kids books. We must give them ones that don't suck ass.

I think sometimes I do things that are way out of character just because it is me trying to communicate with other parts of my brain. It is kinda frustrating to have so many different conflicting beliefs all the time, ABOUT EVERYTHING, because I'm always trying to see things from other people's perspectives, and it drives me a little batty sometimes.

I think I have a serious problem with wanting everyone in the world to be in love with me.

I was highly pleasantly surprised on the Fourth of July how well sleep deprivation works as a surrogate drug. It made me more blunt and funny, more confident that even when I am a silly goober, I am hot stuff, and heightened my senses for the beauty of the fireworks and for my freak-ed-out-ness on zee roller coasters (OH YES, HOW I LOVE YOU SUPERMAN! YOU ARE TEH FUNNEST SHIT. Too bad Acrophobia and Deja Vu were all busted up and I didn't get to be horrifically scared too much. I did do the crazy Daredevil Drop thing, with the picking you up really really high and letting you swing like a crazy tiny pendulum on a looooooong rope that costs money to do and is kinda crazy crazy scary looking, but the harness is solid and cool, and it really wasn't nearly as scary as I would have thought. I think the seats in Deja Vu and Acrophobia are specially engineered to be secure but make you FEEL very as if you are about to fall out and plummet to your doom.)

(If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey!, free dummy.)

I have done so little work yesterday and today.

I love how kitties always seem to notice when I am intoxicated, and act friendlier to me, and like, hey! I'm cool with the rolling around and laying on the floor too! Let us share in this common bond and also, you should pet me.

Pallavi and I are going to attempt to create a pretentiously intellectual and academic Harry Potter board. With no animations or blinking things or smilies. Web BB software all reminds me of lame teenybopper sites, and annoying people, but hopefully we can come up with dorky enough sounding section titles, like Platform 9 3/4 and Sundry Barriers: Ontological Displacements in the HP Series and Sexuality, Protest, Elves and White Womanhood: Hermione and Transcending the Other, to only suck in those who are of a similar mindset. And who WON'T USE SMILIES. Or be dumb.

GAH.

It is four o'clock, and I want to lay in my bed and read Irigaray now, and not have to wake up and demonstrate intelligence for anyone.

I love the office so much still. Must be more productive and figure out useful things to do!

Realized that my girl-cravings are self-destructive. I almost always get crushes on the girliest of girls, and 99% of them are all grossed out by lesbianism, at least while sober and in front of people. This is way lame. Lamer than having a boyfriend, which I've decided I should not do for as long as possible, because boyfriends are all douches.

SO THIS ENTRY IS DISCONNECTED. WAIT UNTIL I TRY TO WRITE EMAILS AT WORK IN A COUPLE HOURS!

xoxo,
m

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