21 aug 2016

About to go to NY in the morning. Nervous about leaving Nora and Bea. Nervous about traveling as I always am a little -- not the worry about crashing, but that I'll miss my flight or forget something or lose something like a silly goose. I'm particularly out of the habit these days.

Certainly pretty nervous about how the interview will go as well. Don't want to feel stupid, mostly. I know I'm not, but GAH, I dislike the feeling of something I should remember that I've googled a million times (ha) like basic string functions that I don't quite have fluency with, just doesn't stay on the tip of my fingers the way some feel like it should. Supposedly will be using a Chromebook pilot interview process, which sounds pretty awesome. It also helps that I feel like I have almost no horse in the game, the chances seem small that this could actually lead to something real. It also helps that I'm SO EVER SO EXCITED! to be visiting NY for the first time since I was pregnant with these two humans, and had JUST found out that they were two!

I do feel like I have a wonderful sense of luck that I'm getting to go, but it's also a wonderful feeling that my ambition in recent years (perhaps curtailed for a while after I dropped out of the PhD?) is reaping a bit of reward as well.