gigging: frequently
sleeping: not as much so
sometimes surprised by: how small a place Savanah is. And how people always know things about my life for so long before I realize they do.
something really funny: [note: you shall probably not understand the appeal without two girls explaining it to you while doubled up with laughter on the floor.] tuxedo cat!
playin': on havoc

I realize I should give up the attempts to update when I'm half asleep and in intense need of going to bed if I want to get any sleep at all. All apologies for the half-heartedness of it.

***

One simple, good thing: the way that a hair salon smells. The wet hair, the antiseptics, the flowery shampoos, the follicles getting burnt by hair dryers and curling irons and chemicals. When 'Lena and I passed one today it almost made me want to go in and get some chopped off. But when the hairdresser would've asked me how I wanted it cut, the only thing I would've been able to say is: "Long. Can you cut it long?"

It is also surprising to me what things you grow to regret, what things you decide turned out for the best, and what other people feel guilty about. I don't like the idea of people thinking I did something stupid, but I certainly don't need people out there who carry around guilt that they caused me to do something stupid. It is hard to believe, though, that something I thought was so right at the time could be something that I would think a silly teenager-y thing to do now.

***

Why is weezer playing in Europe all summer? Warm months just aren't the same without live weezer, and it's markedly more evident after having seen them again this past February. They thought England deserved them more than me. Say it ain't so.

[Yeah, ...yeahyeah...]

***

I hate that I used the word regret up there, because that word and I have a rather disfunctional relationship. I argued for hours on AOL my junior year that I had no regrets and planned on living my life never to have any in the future either. TristramX never believed me, and I don't know if I believed me either. How does one keep from regretting things they've done which have hurt other people, how does one feel as if every choice they have made was the proper one? If a person simply believes that everything turned out for the best, the way it was meant to be, it is eerily reminiscent of Pangloss. I don't believe that that is the way I had it interpreted though; I was simply petrified of regret. I was worried about it far too much for a seventeen-year-old girl to be able to handle, and didn't want to spend my life overanalyzing every decision, opting for the path which would offer the least possibility for feeling those pangs of having been stupid, having been irrational in the past. So I decided that it was a stupid waste of time, and that I would abstain from it.

I suppose, as I get older, the bulk of stupidity and cruelty in my past gets more and more difficult to ignore .