Ah, but it really should be time for sleep; I should never allow myself to continue an entry I decide should have a title from a Mariah Carey song.

Ah, but reading leads to thinking, thinking to typing. It's morning now, after a night up with George and Nick and Honey and Martha and the bergin-drinking boy.

I realized just there how much cooler that would have been if I actually had friends with those names and someone who we called the bergin-drinking boy.

***

Also, if anyone who's reading this decides that it would be a good idea also to write me and tell me good, good reasons why smoking is a horrible thing to pick up, please do that. As if seeing my grandparents die of lung cancer and emphysema weren't enough.

And also hating cigarettes.

***

All apologies for the disjoinedness. I can't seem to stick with thoughts for long, and it's probably because once I get going with a thought, I decide that it's not really worth the path to get to it. I've not quite decided whether it's laziness or a discriminating eye for the quality thought patterns.

***

Oooh, so, it seems that I sometimes avoid typical day-to-day updates in favor of random spews of what's in my head, but some people read this to see what's going on in my life, due to my shitty abilities to keep up correspondence through mail of the postal or e- variety, and so I should mention the ever so cool thing that happened to me last week!

So. I should mention first that I used to take acting lessons in the fourth grade. Ah, I wanted terribly to be a little actress, and I would go every week or something like that and have illusions of grandeur, as 11-year-old girls are prone to do. Or at least I was.

And so, with all my enthusiasm, I was always bursting with fun suggestions and ideas. (Or at least, I imagine I was; it really goes well with the 11-year-old enthuasiasm.) And one day we were acting out some fairy tale or something. Or perhaps it was The Three Little Pigs. I'm not sure. And in the middle of our little improv-ed skit, I come up with some exciting way to make our wolf sneaking to be a little more quality and I say something and the teacher guy doesn't make any answer or response, and in fact I think he was talking about something else when I announced my idea. But-- frustration! Answer me, compliment me for my cool idea! So I say it again and louder and he turns to me and just with a slightly reprimanding tone, tells me, yes, he heard, and to please just hold on one moment. Which I bore mightily and pretended as if my ego had not just been smooshed.

And so, the next week, when Mommy Dearest asks me to get ready to go to acting lessons (which, unless I'm projecting, I remember her being very excited about and giving me advice about how the better actresses out there do things), and I responded that last week the teacher yelled at me, and that I didn't really like acting anymore. And she just thought about it for a second and said that if I didn't want to go, that was fine. She gave in so easily to it, I felt like perhaps I was wrong, I did love acting and I should just get over myself.

But, ha! I certainly didn't admit to that! Eleven-year-old girls don't admit that they're wrong!

Or at least I didn't.

But hey! After years of secret yearning, I finally auditioned for a play last week and got a fantabulous little bit of a role in which I get to play Henry David Thoreau's lovely love interest. Both of the brothers should fall in love with me instantly.

And isn't that what's fun about being an actress?

***
***

I'm going to attempt to not get all wound up in my head again, because I really should get some sleep, and also because I believe I may be keeping my darling sleeping boy up with the typing. He's sick too! I'm horrible. And his birthday is in a week! October 5th, wish him a good one! It'll be his 21st and I have heard noises that it won't be a sucessful birthday unless the chances of death are at least 50%. So wish him whatever you deem aplicable for such.

***

I also have much thought on drug-seeking behavior to attempt to garble out; I suppose I shall just have to expound upon that a little later.