feeling: the whole gamut of emotions today, so much of everything, so strongly partaking of everything, never have I felt so strongly about things as I do the things that nicholas says to me.

Nothing is as lovely as falling in love with him over and over again.

And nothing is as artificial as this way of being apart that we're going through, because I still talk to him all the time, and we still get mad at eachother and make up and go through shitty things, and he comforts me and I try to make him feel better when he's upset, but all of these things continue to go on without touch and I am going through withdrawl because the touch of his skin is miraculous, I could cry that it feels like I've lost memory of what it's like. But I can't because just his thoughts on me make me the happiest one in the world.

***

And now that I've talked about the only thing that matters in my life now, I must go to sleep, so as not to let dear Elena down again in the morning when she calls to get my ass out of bed.