In the desert
I saw a creature, naked, bestial,
Who, squatting upon the ground,
Held his heart in his hands,
And ate of it.
I said, "Is it good, friend?"
"It is bitter bitter", he answered,
"But I like it
Because it is bitter,
And because it is my heart."
Stephen Crane
deep in the midnight oil at 4:04 AM
alone in the courant lab
I've been doing math in the lab for almost 9 hours straight now, and I'm okay with that. I'm a little distressed with the amount of Maple I've been using for complicated calculations, as this instructor has never asked us to do such before, but additionally, he has never given us more than 6 problems in an assignment, and this one consists of 11 terrifying ones.
I really can't tell if I'm becoming far more single-minded toward computer science to the expense of all else, a level far more than I would ever have approved at any previous point in my life for another person to be deemed interesting and well-rounded, or if perhaps, I am not even close to as driven towards something in particular as I need to be in order to really do what I want to with grad school. I am probably the one in the movie straddling the ever-widenening chasm, unable to pick a side until she fails tragically into the abyss.
I am yearning to take a class in the hipster-y Interactive Telecommunications Program, one in particular on the changing nature of narrative in a non-linear, technologically-enhanced, postmodern world, (the prof is an internet superstar and there are readings on the nature of the narrative form from Aristotle and Lajos Egri), but I realize that perhaps the time is up for me to take courses where I get to hear stories (Prof. Korn gives us some good ones from unix lore, but I suspect this is the last hurrah in that regard).
Tomorrow at 7, I'm going to Georgia for five whole days, during which I will eat the equivalent of five people.
WATCH OUT PEOPLE