watchin': a show that makes me laugh like crazy, cause I love Meghan to bits and pieces (she can teach me witchcraft any day of the week, and twice on Sundays), and I think Javier is the cutest thing in the world
eatin': a samich! with lotsa pickles. Yum.
readin': the flame, of course
about to: study math. No, for real. Really!

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I have such a bizarre journal system. I've been writing in my paper journal since I was about seven years old. I had a little pink book that had a gold heart on the front with my name engraved on it. I talked a lot about fights I got in with my brother. At the time, Slade was my whole world and my best friend, so I guess that's what I thought about. I remember writing about a trip we took to Savannah and that my dad was going to buy a Winnebago. Slade and I thought it was the coolest thing in the world, because we were car trip kids, who had been brought up riding cross-country in the back of a two-door T-Bird. I remember quitting my diary for awhile there, because a couple of weeks later, when I found out that Daddy wasn't buying the big ol' thing after all, I saw that entry, and how excited I had been, and I got all sad and scribbled over it.

But my cool grandmother wanted me to keep writing, and every year, she got me a new blank book. When I was about 10 years old, I would write in it every day: "Today was totally boring!" while I awaited my own personal fourth-grade soap opera romance. It never happened. It was quite a let-down after all the boys I had gone through like tissues back at my old school. I suppose my peak was that roller-skating date with Kenny, my kindergarten boyfriend.

I have separate books for separate boys all throughout middle school and high school. I guess I never gave up the mentality that diaries should be like soap operas, filled with illicit infatuations and secret affairs. The written diary I'm using now is the same one that has lots of girliness about K in it, and it drives me crazy. But my grandmother's gone now, and it seems strange to go out and buy my own blank book.

Typing is so much faster, but it's sad, because I like my handwriting so much. Much more personal, and more real. I can't lie when I'm writing, but oh, when I'm typing...

So, I've been writing here. And other places online. I'm terrified of people reading things here and not revealing that they have. And so, the juicy stuff, it goes other places. One day, when I'm ready, and maybe have a sign on the front page that says, "Mom, Daddy, please don't click in and read this unless you're ready to hear about your little girl having sex," I'll meld it all together.