mmmarilyn;

a big-city fairy tale.

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{a photo project, 2006}

sunday night, october 15, 2006.

bougainvillea blooms
the sun sets and radiates
my eyes, my brain slow

--me, but inspired by Iron & Wine's "Passing Afternoon" (on my ipod on the eighth floor of the library, big windows over Manhattan behind me)

7.45pm

sun lab of Courant, dark outside, logic hw almost completed in a LaTeX file in front of me

I feel trapped sometimes lately in a living example of the small and large-scale likenesses that are exhibited in introductory chaos theory classes.

The coast line, when examined on a miniscule level, contains the same patterns and contours as it does when viewed from thousands of miles away.

[my desktop background here on my redhat login]

When I'm studying, I waver dramatically between feeling successful, reveling in the satisfaction of a long-wrought understanding, and then when I realize one more little detail, seeing how much more there is that remains beyond my comprehension.

I've studied almost this entire weekend, and it has made me rather frustrated at points, and more depressive--spending all day yesterday in my room, on my bed--than I've been in years.

But things have mostly come together today, and I feel like everything in the world is good and right, and I better watch out before I get all self-righteous about working all weekend, because I only worked on my logic assignment, and I have yet to begin on my sed/awk project due momentarily; I have hours and hours of studying I still owe to linear algebra with which I will hopefully make some headway before the take-home midterm is distributed to us.

soon soon soon.

Bo is planning on coming to visit for my birthday and I worry that I will have to struggle with proofs the entire weekend, relegate him to analogically holding my hair for me as I lean over the toilet.

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